Review: LaCire Candles by Sportsheets

content notes and warnings: wax play, mentions of impact play, kink, slightly dark humor about disembodied torso shapes; also some discussion about food allergies

[Image: Two torso-shaped candles, an orange one with breasts, and a teal one with a penis.]

Wax play is one of those activities I do a lot but don’t seem to write about very often. Aside from impact play, it’s one of our go-to kink activities. I like the little surface flares of pain, the way it leaves a (temporary) visible mark, the slow, meditative uncertainty of just when the drip of wax will hit my skin. My spouses loves the ability to cause consensual pain without a lot of physical effort on their end, that it’s a quieter activity than impact, and they’re always a fan of decorating me. Basically: candles. Yes please.

My former favorite candle, the Blush Temptasia Fox Drip Candle, had a lot of great things going for it: a cute shape, a low melting point, bright pigment so I could see it on my skin. Unfortunately, I’ve developed a bunch of mild food allergies recently, including coconut, so we decided to retire it to be safe. (I’m sadder about the Samoas. Bye, Samoas. I’ll always love you.) We had some cheaper soy candles, but they lack some panache, and also require a candle holder since they don’t have flat bottoms. So when I had a chance to review the new LaCire torso candles, I was on board.

Sportsheets new LaCire candles (literally just French for “wax” without a space) come in four torso shapes. Two have breasts, two have penises. (There aren’t any as of yet with breasts and penises, or with no penis and no breasts.) There’s a vague effort at being body-inclusive: there are two expressly thin torsos, and a curvier boobed torso, but still with a skinny waist, and a thicker bedicked torso, though still with defined abs, because we can’t be out here romanticizing actual fat bodies. I chose the two thicker options, listed as Form 1 and Form 2, which come in a cute orange and a cute teal, respectively. They’re approximately 1/6 scale: I can pose them with my spouse’s Hot Toys Phil Coulson action figure and they look pretty similar in scale, although also kind of horrifying next to him. (Phil, what did you do?)

[Image: Two torso-shaped candles on either side of an action figure of Phil Coulson as played by Clark Gregg.]

The detail on the candles pre-melting is pretty good. The curves and abs and everything are very well defined; there are even belly buttons! I did find some slight flaws—nicks and slightly flattened portions—but you expect that with objects made of actual wax.

Speaking of, the ingredients are very body-friendly, at least for me! They include soy wax and paraffin wax; both waxes have a low melting point (between 120 and 140, though paraffin is a bit higher/hotter), and soy wax in particular cools very rapidly, which makes them ideal for wax play and the ultimate goal of “not having to get a skin graft,” and since they don’t have coconut oil or almond oil or whatever, they’re safer for people with certain allergies.

(I just did a search on whether soy-based candles are appropriate for people with soy allergies. Burning them in the room is apparently fine for most people, but I can’t find anything about whether it’s okay to drip soy-based wax on you. If you aren’t sure, you might want to skip it, and maybe find some paraffin-only drip candles, though they do burn hotter than soy, so be warned.)

[Image: The two candles from the back.]

I took pictures of them pre-melting and they really are nice display pieces, even if you don’t intend to melt them. However, I don’t buy disembodied torsos just for decoration. I buy them for…wait. This doesn’t sound right.

Wax play ensued, okay, that’s what I mean.

The candles are really practical. They’re thick and solid and easy to grip; the broad, flat bottoms mean they can be set down without a candle holder (although you may want a dish or something); and the actual wax is really, really nice.

If you aren’t familiar with what wax feels like, here’s a description: There’s the anticipation of pain, without any real certainty of when it hits, because you have to wait for the wax to melt enough and drip. Then it comes splashing down, soundlessly, and there’s a brief, slight flash of pain—sometimes it doesn’t even register as pain at first, so much as just sensation. And then there’s another, as the first droplet cools and tightens the skin underneath. And another. And then your body is a canvas of dried, thin wax spots. The pain doesn’t linger or build, but it’s very present in each moment.

So, that’s, uh, less erotically, that’s what the candles did. I mean, they operated like any other body-safe wax play candle. Great job! You did the thing! Yay!

[Image: A thigh in boxer briefs, with faint blobs of wax on the skin.]

Once on the skin, the candles aren’t very pigmented, but they’re definitely visible. I’ve read that more pigment can make the wax have to burn at a slightly higher temperature (supposedly black candles are the most painful) but in my experience it’s never been something I’ve observed, although to be fair, my observation skills are often out the window mid-scene. But less pigment is fine by me, if it means it’s slightly safer, and probably cheaper as well. Because these candles are only $22.99, which is pretty decent!

They also came off my skin pretty easily. The only place that they stuck a bit were my shins, as my hair there is thicker, but even that wasn’t awful, especially when Damien did more of a scrape than a pull to remove the blobs. (Also, places where I’m especially fuzzy, like shins, crotch, and armpits, aren’t places we usually drip wax—we did the shins just to check—but if the bottom in your scene has chest hair or is otherwise hairy, just be careful with removing the wax after, or use a hot wet wash cloth and scrub a bit. Or incorporate the hair-pulling into the scene, I guess, if that’s your jam.) They did leave slight red marks, but those faded quickly, and I’ve honestly never noticed if other candles do the same or not.

[Image: The two candles with their boxes. The teal candle is wearing Coulson’s tie.]

The shape, well. They do hold their shape after using them, but let’s be real: as they melt down, they are no longer going to look like torsos. If you want something to maintain its shape…I dunno what to tell you, wax melts, that’s, that’s just, that’s how it works, sorry buddy.

If you aren’t really into the whole “torso” thing, LaCire also has some simpler candles for $14.99 in purple, white, and black. If you want even more disembodied parts, Betty’s Toy Box also sells a rainbow penis drip candle for $22.99. (They also have non-drip candles in the shape of breasts and another rainbow penis, but these are scented and aren’t labeled for wax play, so they’re just for decoration. Try not to mix up the dicks.)

If you like the idea of wax but don’t like the idea of pain, Betty’s also sells massage candles, which are designed to melt into a massage oil and then be poured onto the skin for a warm, but not hot, sensation. Do check the ingredients on these (every single one I’ve found on Betty’s contains something I’m allergic to, and sometimes multiple things) but they might suit you! They have some travel-sized ones for $8.99 if you want to try it out.

The Bottom Line

These are definitely the best melting torsos I’ve ever had! Okay, seriously though, they’re pretty, well-made, and work exactly the way they’re supposed to. Damien found them easy to hold onto and could set them down if needed (it wasn’t, but they could). I found them pleasantly painful without being harmful, and didn’t make me itch or anything. I hope Sportsheets considers expanding their shapes to celebrate more types of bodies, but the slight variety is better than nothing, and the colors are pretty. Definitely recommend to someone trying out wax play, as well as to someone who’s accustomed to it but wants something a little different, and anyone who has to be cautious about ingredients.

Buy Form 1 or Form 2 from Betty’s Toy Box for $22.99

One More Thing

This is going to be my last Queer Earthling post for a while. Due to a whole lot of life and health stuff happening at once and some serious burn-out, blogging has become increasingly difficult and not enjoyable. I appreciate everyone keeping up with my blog so far! I have no intention of taking any of it down, and I’ll try to keep up with back-end stuff (like links changing and so on). I will always be grateful to anyone buying through affiliate links and otherwise supporting QE. I’m also no longer very active on Twitter, though I may still sometimes share older posts there. I will always welcome questions or comments on any posts, new or old, or through my contact form.

Queer Earthling will return!

[Image: A picture of the Coulson action figure shrugging near the two candles.]

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