Content notes and warnings: Mentions of impact play and a few non-explicit, brief mentions of potential kink scenarios, including the honorific “Daddy.”
What would you say is the sexiest thing in a toolbelt? Well, the person wearing it, probably. Other than that? Perhaps the screwdriver? I mean, the word “screw” is right there. The putty knife, maybe? The electrical tape? I mean, we can all probably agree the speed square is the least sexy, right?
Love Hamma has made a statement on the subject: It is clearly the claw hammer. (I might’ve gone with a ball-peen hammer, just due to the name having both “ball” and “peen” in it, but I’m also extremely immature and I think that’s a very sexy quality.) And when I saw someone on Twitter link to SheVibe’s listing of the Love Hamma, I was filled with a strong emotion I cannot name, somewhere between amusement, curiosity, and…perhaps…lust? I reached out to SheVibe asking—no, begging—to receive a Hamma of my very own, and the benevolent fairies of SheVibe waved their little wands and granted my wish.
The Love Hamma is…about the size of an actual hammer, shaped like an actual hammer, and generally, at first glance, looks like a hammer. Mine is covered in blue silicone, but it’s also available in pink and black; the hammer “face” (the smacky bit, if your handiness knowledge is similar to mine) and the claw are both soft silicone, but the rest of it is hard and mechanical under the surface. The G-spot (or P-spot, since this is anal-safe) version features a gently curved handle, but there’s also a straight handle variant.
It features three buttons, which control three different functions. There’s vibration in the hammer head, vibration in the hammer handle, and a “thrusting” mechanism in the handle as well. Each of these features has three speeds and multiple patterns. The buttons are a little finicky and can be hard to press just right, especially if the toy is already on and you’re either trying to increase speed or turn it off.
They can also be combined, but in many cases the combinations just aren’t that compatible for solo use: the head’s vibrations are not going to reach you if you’ve got the handle inserted to enjoy the thrusting mechanism, for example. I suppose it could be used with a partner, but the positioning is gonna be…awkward. So, let’s look at each feature in turn.
The Hammer Head
This was the feature I thought would be the most fun. I’m partial to pinpoint vibration at the sides of my clit; I figured the face would be a nice precision tool, and the claw is obviously meant to mimic the flexible “ears” of many rabbit vibrators.
So, it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that…the head vibration kinda sucks.
The reason is pretty clear. The motor for this vibrator is housed in the center of the head, and the vibrations are intended to travel to the other parts. Silicone, however, is notorious for deadening or burying vibrations, especially if they’re a little buzzy. So, the sensation in either the face or the claw are dramatically muted. The best I could get was a little bit of a tease, and it was honestly quite frustrating. Also, of all the buttons, the one controlling the head was the most finicky, perhaps due to the position or something, so I was grumbling and stabbing at it with my thumbnail to try to turn it off.
The Handle Vibrations
This was…better. While the handle is designed for G-spot (or prostate) use, I tend to use even G-spot vibrators on my clit; the curve and point tend to be good for directing the vibration where I want it externally, and the long handle associated with most G-spot vibes means my hands and wrists don’t experience too much vibration, which can be a problem due to a past injury.
I’m happy to say that with the G-spot end, I could actually orgasm! And the head was really nice to hold onto. The vibrations didn’t travel up that high, and I could reach the buttons pretty easily.
That said, the vibrations weren’t great. There’s a weird rattly element to the handle vibrations. (This may exist in the head, too, but I couldn’t tell because I could barely feel the vibrations.) Sometimes it feels a little muted, but mostly it just feels…uh…like the motor isn’t entirely secure? Like I said, I could get off with it, but it always felt moments from dying, even when it was freshly charged.
This may be due to a mediocre motor, or it could be due to the third feature.
Thrusty Time!
So, I’ve actually never had an internal thrusting toy, so I was looking forward to trying it. And I actually liked this feature! With a different vibe on my clit, it wasn’t too difficult to position the handle in such a way that the G-spot point hits where it’s supposed to. It took some practice to hold it tightly enough that it stayed in place, but loosely enough that it could still move, but I managed! It doesn’t feel like thrusting exactly, more like a heavy duty tap or even a very weird vibration, but it does feel nice. I even managed to have a G-spot only orgasm (a rarity for me!) entirely by accident as I was experimenting with the patterns, which was a nice surprise.
That said, it sounds awful. The word “jackhammer” comes to mind, no pun intended. RIP to my neighbors who were probably wondering what fucking construction I was doing in my bedroom all week.
Also, while I enjoyed it, my spouse’s report when they tried it was basically, “Nope! Nope nope nope, hated that.” Some of this is partly because they have some trouble with insertion, and the handle is blunt, with no taper whatsoever. If you need a taper to insert a toy, this isn’t gonna do it. (The straight-handle variant might fare slightly better for you.)
So, we have not reached a consensus. That said, it is less expensive than a lot of thrusting toys.
Bonus Feature: Hammer Time
Look, I love getting spanked, and if I’m going to enjoy some hot construction worker fantasies, they’re going to beat my ass with the hammer. And this is definitely safer than, you know, a real hammer.
This is not advertised, but the Love Hamma is a nice impact toy. The handle is easy to hold onto for the top, and it’s obviously designed to be easy to swing. The sensation is very thuddy. Long-time readers might recall me stating that I don’t really like thuddy sensations in my Tard-Ass paddle review; turns out, I don’t like broad thuddy sensations, but I do really like precise ones! So the Love Hamma was surprisingly enjoyable in that regard. It reminded me a bit of my favorite thuddy toy, the Sex & Mischief Shadow Ball Crop by Sportsheets.
The big difference between the Love Hamma and the ball crop? Oh, you know, only about $100. Honestly, while I like the Love Hamma for impact, the crop is only $13, so if you’re looking to try out the sensation…well, you get me.
So, what’s my overall impression of the Love Hamma? Look, you know I have a history of being unimpressed by toys that put aesthetic over function, and I think that’s part of the issue. But I think the other thing is…it’s trying to be too many things at once, so it’s not doing any of them especially well.
Like, I get it. We love a multi-use tool! And if you have limited space, a single toy that can do a lot of things is ideal. But the creators worked so hard to make this a gimmicky jack-off of all trades that it just didn’t quite work. There’s something about it that feels kinda like it’s a prototype. It wants to be a good toy, or several good toys, but it’s just not there yet.
Which is a shame because, you know, it’s been released to the public in its current state.
Should you buy it? Well…it’s $110. To me, that’s a lot of money to spend even on a sex toy that works pretty well. And yet, I can’t help but think that, to some people, it might be worth it? The Love Hamma is cute as hell, and it has an aesthetic appeal that’s very different from most toys — coded differently than many vibrators, and even potentially inspiring some fantasies. It conjures images of hot construction workers. You could make a Thor scenario if you squint. Have your Daddy of choice bend you over the workbench. Some “Gee whiz thanks for putting these shelves up but how can I ever repay you” roleplay. Like…there are a lot of fun hammer-related scenarios!
So, if you’re looking for a generally excellent sex toy? Eh, nah. I’d go for a nice G-spot toy like the Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine, which is $49.99 on SheVibe, or for even more precision, the Realm Silver Bullet for even less.
But does the Love Hamma just tweak some of your fantasies? Would it make you happy to have in your collection? Does it give you good Gender Feelings or Presentation Feelings? It might be worth buying, just with the awareness that it’s not…that good as a sex toy. It’s certainly not the worst sex toy I’ve tried (that’s still the Rianne S Heart, fuck that guy), it’s just not one I would literally ever pick up again. Personally. No, not even with the accidental G-spot orgasm.
That doesn’t mean it won’t get any use in our house, of course. I won’t pick it up, but my spouse might, for impact purposes. I do, after all, need to repay them for all those shelves they just put up.
The Bottom Line
In its eagerness to please everyone, the Love Hamma failed to please anyone, except for people with spanking fetishes, and it isn’t actually advertised to us. That said, it’s less expensive than a lot of thrusting toys, and that feature didn’t suck. More importantly, the hammer look is flawless, and it is a fun, silly toy that might be fun to play with. Just, uh…make sure you have a backup vibrator handy.
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This toy was provided free in exchange for my honest review. This post does use multiple affiliate links.
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