Review: CalExotics Slay Thrill Me

When Betty’s Toy Box asked me what I might like to review next, I specifically mentioned that I’d like to get back into reviewing budget toys. Expensive wands and well-reviewed bullets are all well and good, but it’s also important to me, and always has been, to make sure I review toys at all price levels. People of all incomes or spending comfort deserve pleasure, and there are plenty of good toys at lower price points.

CalExotics Slay Thrill Me…is not one.

At its surface, it seems like a nice enough toy. It has a nice silicone texture in a pretty mint color, and it seems well-designed for pinpoint stimulation, with a big round head on the end of a flexible neck. Also, considering how CalExotics names some of their toys, “Thrill Me” wasn’t bad, although I was slightly disappointed to find that they don’t have an accompanying “Hold Me,” “Kiss Me,” and “Kill Me” to complete the U2 song.

Also, it looks like the Loch Ness Monster. I’ve been calling it the CalExotics Nessie to my spouse since I first requested it from Betty’s.

[The CalExotics Slay Thrill Me, surrounded by fishing net, compared to a Nessie-like plushie.]

When I got it, I was excited to try it, but the best laid plans of mice and men being what they are, I had to put it off a bit. I had to destroy a dildo, among other things. But I did try it when I could!

I am partial to pinpoint stimulation. While I like wands, my true favorite toys tend to be bullets. My clit is most sensitive on the sides, and I like being able to get a toy all up in there and make precise contact; however, the exact spot tends to move around a bit, because my body thinks it’s funny, so I usually end up having to move things around and apply a bit of pressure.

So, uh, remember that flexible neck?

It’s very flexible.

I suppose for someone, this might be ideal, but for me…it meant that I could not control the head of the vibrator. If I tried to move it, it kinda wobbled to wherever I was trying to bring it, and I found it very hard to control its eventual landing point. If I attempted to apply pressure, not only was it incapable of providing that pressure, but it had a nasty tendency to slide off the spot where I’d placed it.

Let me repeat: It did not fucking stay put.

[Description: The Thrill Me, with a plastic eye stuck on its “head,” surrounded by plush sea creatures.]

Even if you don’t want any pressure and don’t need to move the vibe around like an NSFW game of hide and seek, I feel like if you’re looking for pinpoint stimulation, you want some amount of precision. The fact that it’s really hard to control this toy is super frustrating for me. And that’s me, using it on myself. I can’t imagine trying to guide a partner who wanted to use this vibrator on me! “Up…up a little more…you missed it, go back…up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right…oh, forget it.” I would end up snapping the stupid thing in half. (The vibrator, I mean, not my partner.)

Also, the vibrations are…not great. After complaining about the lack of control to my spouse, they tried it out, came out, and said, “You forgot one thing in your complaints. BEES.”

This is Damienspeak for “These vibrations are really uncomfortably buzzy and I do not enjoy placing them upon my genitals.” And you know what? They are pretty damn buzzy. They’re strong, I guess, and that’s nice, but they have that uncomfortable surface vibration that can hurt or numb you out way too easily. (Also, not a feature exclusive to buzzy toys, but the vibration goes right up into the handheld portion, which makes it extremely uncomfortable to anyone with grip issues.)

[Description: The Thrill Me, propped up against a little treasure chest, surrounded by beachy items.]

My other complaint is one I’ve had about several CalExotics toys: I hate the memory chip function. All CalExotics toys now have a “feature” where the speeds and patterns start wherever you turned the toy off; theoretically, it means that if you prefer Speed #3, you can turn it off, and turn it back on again to Speed #3 without having to waste time. The problem is, however, that if you’re wading through patterns, you can’t turn it off and start at the beginning, which is often the best way to navigate a single-button toy with multiple patterns and speeds, because it can be easy to lose your place. This is also super frustrating if, say, you prefer to start at a lower speed and work your way up, or if you want to start with a pattern for teasing and then go to a steady speed to finish yourself off—you have to pay a lot of attention to which setting you’re on as you navigate through, and that can lose you whatever good feelings you’ve built up.

The only time the memory chip worked for me was with the Opulence wand, because it wasn’t a single-button control, and I could actually turn off the whole toy and start the speeds/patterns again from the beginning or pick up where I left off. That worked for me! I could actually see the benefit of this feature!

I mean, hell, the memory chip means that when I got the toy, it wasn’t even at the first setting! Right out of the package it was on Speed #2 or something, presumably from quality control testing it and then not putting it back on the lowest speed. It was a little jarring to have it feel like it was…used already?

And then, of course, after using it I always feel like I have to go through and make sure I put it back on Speed #1 for the next user, even if the next user is me. I would really prefer to just turn the toy off and go about my usual aftercare routine.

[Description: The Thrill Me, angled so it’s facing the viewer; you can vaguely see the single button near the bottom]

Look, the toy isn’t 100% awful. I was able to come with it, but because of those surfacey, bee-like vibrations that were never quite where I wanted them, I didn’t find my orgasms super satisfying. But it is waterproof, which makes it easy to clean. Aesthetically it’s very nice. It isn’t peeling, which shouldn’t be a selling point but, hey, I’ll take it. If you find that any pressure is uncomfortable, this might actually be a nice option for you, for the same reason that I don’t like it!

But if you’re looking for pinpoint precision, I’d really recommend a bullet vibe, like my favorite Realm Silver Bullet, which is almost exactly the same price on Betty’s Toy Box. If you like the idea of a pinpoint toy with a better grip…well, the Lush Juna that I reviewed last fall is no longer available on Betty’s, but the extremely similar Noje Quiver would probably be a good choice! If you just want a toy that looks like Nessie, well, I may not be able to help you, but I have a hunch that you might have fun looking at my fantasy tag and monsterfucker tag.

[Description: The Thrill Me, with an eye glued on, looking like it’s fighting a dragon rubber duck.]

The Bottom Line

CalExotics toys these days are extremely hit or miss for me, and unfortunately, the Slay Thrill Me is a miss. They advertise a pinpoint toy, but its lack of precision makes it…not very pinpoint. The inability to control it makes it frustrating to use in masturbation and would be even worse in partnered sex. Also, the vibrations are buzzy, and I really cannot stand that memory chip thing.

Buy from Betty’s Toy Box for $34.99

[Betty’s Toy Box banner]

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This post is not sponsored, but the toy was given to me free in exchange for an honest review. This post contains multiple affiliate links.

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