I’ve never really liked rabbit vibes. They often don’t align right with my anatomy, plus internal vibration usually doesn’t do much for me except rattle my pelvis and deteriorate my mood. So why did I agree to review this toy?
I’m going to be honest with you. I reviewed this for one reason alone.
Look, I have a lot of sex toys in many, many colors. I had almost a full rainbow, not counting the toys that were themselves rainbows. The only color I didn’t have was orange.
So when Betty’s Toy Box sent around a list of things I could review, I went with the orange one. After all, I justified to myself, other people like rabbits, and I can at least tell if it’s a good toy, for people who like that sort of thing. And hey, maybe I wouldn’t hate it! That would be nice. But these were excuses. I just wanted an orange toy. I barely even read the copy on the site.
So now you know. I am not a proper professional toy reviewer. I’m a sham. But now I’m a sham with a full spectrum of sex toys, so I regret nothing!
So then I got the (deep breath here) California Dreaming Newport Beach Babe Rabbit Style Silicone Vibrator by CalExotics and fiddled with it right out of the package. I found that the “arm” had separate controls from the shaft, so you can use them independently of one another. I smelled tangerines for some reason, which was weird because it’s silicone and their site insists that it’s unscented, so I can only assume my brain was reacting to the color. (I can also smell what they’re cooking on food videos, so this is probable.) But, most interestingly, I discovered (because, again, I didn’t read the copy) that the arm didn’t vibrate. It tapped.
Now, a lot of people (including me) feel the sensation of air pulse toys as a sort of tapping, so this intrigued me. Officially, CalExotics describes it as a “thumping teaser,” which I find kind of alarming (a lot of things are referred to as “teasing” in order to get around the fact that it’ll never, ever make you come) but I was on board with trying it out, at least.
I charged it up, as one does. It had a pretty basic stabby-style charger, rather than magnetic, but it’s easy enough to use. I washed it thoroughly, and then tried it out.
I inserted it, and managed to line the arm up decently with my clit. Since I’m not much for internal sensations, I just turned on the “thumping teaser.” I wasn’t really turned on yet, so I had to hold it in place to make any contact with my clit whatsoever, but it did feel nice. The longer I used it, the bigger and more pronounced my clit got (because clits have erectile tissue), and the easier it was for the toy to make contact with it. I fiddled with the speeds and patterns, and found that—like with vibrators—I preferred a steady speed, and so I left it on the highest of the regular taps.
It felt really good, and I kept feeling like I might come, but never quite got there. My clit was on board, but it just wasn’t happening.
With a sigh, I turned on the internal vibrator, figuring this test session was probably a dud but I might as well try the rest.
The vibrator came to life against my G-spot.
And I came so hard I almost fell off the goddamned bed.
Some combination of the long-lasting tease on my clit (damn you, Thumping Teaser!) and sudden sensation against my G-spot just did it. It felt as intense as that one time when I squirted. It was a perfect blended orgasm. I was delighted! I was elated! I wanted to do it again!
Here’s the thing. Generally speaking, I’m multi-orgasmic. I like being multi-orgasmic; I like that I can take my time and have several really nice orgasms, and each one seems to feel better than the last. I have always been like this, and is a normal part of my sexual experience.
But this time? Nope. Didn’t happen. Not even when I switched to a vibrator on my clit.
Did…did the California Dreaming Newport Beach Babe actually…break my orgasms? Does my multiple orgasm ability have some kind of override and this toy flipped the switch? What? How? Was it permanent? I was gonna be so mad.
I was relieved to learn at a later masturbation session with my favorite vibrator that I still had the capacity for multiple orgasms, so at least I wasn’t permanently transformed. Maybe that was a fluke?
I might be a sham of a reviewer, but I’m a thorough sham, so of course I tried the California Dreaming Newport Beach Babe again. I figured the mono-orgasm thing was a one-time oddity.
Nope. It happened again. Another really intense orgasm, and then my vagina put up a “gone fishin’” sign. I could, after some time and much effort, eke out a slightly weakened clitoral-only orgasm, but that was it.
And after that, I learned to just use it and let it go, instead of trying for multiples. I was one and done.
So…yeah. Intense orgasms, but I can have only one at a time. Listen, to you mono-orgasmic people: that’s really 100% normal for many humans. All bodies are different! For many people, the one-time orgasm is perfectly satisfying and I am very glad for y’all. But man, I am not used to it. I like orgasms, I would like to have more of them. But that’s fine! Weird, but fine! It makes it great for those times when I just need to come and go back to my day. Clearly, this toy with its unwieldy name is perfect, at least if I’m in the mood for it. End of review!
Hahaha just kidding, it’s nitpicking time!
First, the arm can be hard to position. This is especially true if I’m not turned on yet, as I said above. Because the clit has erectile tissue, it’s smaller, and sometimes the arm ends up nowhere near it unless I hold it at a certain angle, and even then sometimes it somehow slips off? Because the arm is very inflexible, and the Thumping Teaser hits a very specific spot, and people have different amounts of space between vagina and clitoris, there may be some bodies where it won’t even hit their clit if the shaft is inserted. So, $59.99 on a toy that might be useless is…frustrating. But that goes with the territory of a rabbit vibe, and we all know this.
My greater nitpick is one that other people will actually like. The copy online boasts a “state-of-the-art memory chip [that] resumes on last function used” and I hate it.
Here’s the thing. There are a lot of functions to go through, and I realize that’s why they have this—if you like a speed or function, then you can just leave it on that, no problem! But if, like me, you like escalating through, or exploring different sensations, then a lot of times you might kind of lose your place. After, say, the third time of going through the 10 clitoral functions, I might be frustrated, and turn it off so it’ll restart at the first setting.
Nope! You’re stuck back on Function 7! Add to it that it can be hard to tell the difference between a couple of functions, but my clit most likes Steady Speed #2 and #3, it’s…annoying. Mildly annoying, but annoying. I want to restart it at the beginning.
But, that’s me.
This is not a good first toy. Not only is it a bit on the pricey side, but it’s kind of finicky, and I feel like it’d be hard to tell just what you like when you get lost in the sea of functions without any way to get back to shore.
But the ~Thumping Teaser, gimmicky as the description might be, is a really neat innovation, and this is one of the only toys where the internal vibration is not only not annoying to me, but genuinely enjoyable. And like. Holy shit! It has a multiple orgasm override! I didn’t know my body worked like that! That’s cool as hell!
The Bottom Line
Yeah, so, I picked this out for a stupid reason. But not only did I complete my Rainbow Of Sex Toys, but I found it really unique and enjoyable. It made my body do a new thing! So, yes, if you have some spare money and you want to try something new, it’s definitely worth it!
The name is hilariously long, though. Calm down, guys. It looks like a Wish.com listing.