Review: Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle

[Description: The Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle (described below) on a yellow barrier, amidst dead brambles.]

cw: impact play and other sensation play

Let’s get one thing out of the way to start with: Fetish Fantasy is a Pipedream line. Pipedream isn’t a good company, but they are an inexpensive one, and budget toys remain a priority for this blog—and for me, and probably for a lot of you. At $14.99 ($12.99 on sale at the time of this writing), this is an extremely affordable toy, and I’d be remiss if I completely ignored the Fetish Fantasy line.

So, with that out of the way: This is an extremely inexpensive rubber paddle.

When we receive a new impact toy in the mail, Damien’s tradition is to immediately smack me with it at least once, somewhere on my body. (It’s a simple tradition, but a tradition nonetheless.) When the Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle arrived from Naughty Betty’s [Edit April 2023: Naughty Betty’s is defunct, all links are now to Betty’s Toy Box!], they went right for my fully-clothed ass.

[Description: The rubber paddle on some chain link over brick.]

Now, often, wearing clothing will dull the effect of a spanking implement. If it’s stingy, it’ll soften the blow to something less sharp. Not so with this one! It stung through my pants, and I was smitten.

The Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle looks like a repurposed tire with a handle. I could see this thing being used in a Mad Max movie. I’m not especially into tires as a look, but I’ll admit, there’s something kinda cool and industrial about it. The handle is heavily textured and very firm, and the business end has raised treads on both sides—one side is much more pronounced than the other. This does matter, but we’ll get into that later. It’s a pretty small paddle, not much bigger than a hairbrush, and has holes in it to cut down on wind resistance. Honestly, it’s pretty sturdy and well-constructed. (Is this Pipedreams? Really? Are we sure?) Also, despite it being rubber, it doesn’t smell like rubber. I guess if you’re a hardcore rubber fetishist, that may put you off, but I was very pleased. Also, the packaging consisted of a single tag through the hole in the handle. Not bad at all.

The day after receiving it, we happened to have time for a lengthy kink session, and Damien and I felt that the rubber paddle should get a starring role. Since it was new, we went without any bondage or anything else—Damien wanted me to get comfortable with it without any distractions or competing sensations. Since it seemed pretty strong, they did make sure I had a plushie to hold onto, and then just…went to town on my ass and thighs.

Y’all, I transcended from this plane of existence.

[Description: The paddle hanging from some rusty chain.]

The side with the slightly flatter treads is very stingy, but it’s a solid sting, with a good amount of heft to it. It’s not remotely thuddy (which many people prefer, but I do not) but it feels like a good solid hand slap, while leaving a nice tingly sensation behind that I consider a hallmark of stinging sensations. Because of the lack of wind resistance, it also starts to hurt immediately rather than building up. I had to call for a break pretty quickly, but I knew even so that I wanted more. Lots more.

Also, you should know that my ass turned red, like, immediately. If you like the visual of that, this is a great toy that provides it with little effort. (We tried for some bruising as well, but my butt is reluctant to bruise. I did have trouble sitting down for a few days, though, which is a delight and joy to my masochistic little brain, and also made Damien cackle whenever they noticed. I love them so much.)

The other side has longer treads, and the difference is subtle but definitely tangible. The sensation is still that slappy/stingy feeling, but there’s also a sharpness to it that’s really appealing to me. Damien enjoys a fun game called “Guess which side this is!” and I can usually guess pretty well, at least earlier in the session when my brain is still functioning.

But wait, there’s more!

[Description: A close-up of the spikier treads on a slightly wet rubber paddle, with light filtering through.]

I love scratchy sensations. Usually we use a hairbrush on my back, butt, and thighs, although we’ve also been experimenting with Wartenberg wheels and other scratchy things, not breaking the skin but definitely leaving some pink and white marks behind. I have sensitive skin when I’m not engaging in kink (sometimes even normal clothes are uncomfortable for me because apparently I’m a ~delicate flower~), but for some reason, intentional scratching is just amazing to me.

Well, fuck the hairbrush. The sharper treads on the Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle are a spectacular sensation tool. They cover a lot of surface area at once, the scratchiness is pronounced and impossible to ignore, and honestly, I’m having trouble writing about it because when I think about the sensation my brain just goes “Harglarbgnrrrr” and shorts out.

Spanking with that side is good, too, though. Did I mention that? I can’t remember, my brain just rebooted.

Pipedream can be very hit or miss, and their misses are remarkable, but so are their hits. And God help me, this is a hit. It’s a very hard, stingy, slappy hit. As a result, I would not recommend this to someone who is newer to impact or just experimenting. While you can hit somewhat more gently with this one, it still packs a wallop. If you’re just trying out sensation play to see if you like it, I’d recommend something more flat. But if you’re into impact already and you’d like something cheap that gives a good sting, not to mention a bonus extra sensation, I would actually recommend this rubber paddle. At the moment it’s $12.99. Honestly. That’s ridiculous.

[Description: The paddle on a worn-out window sill, with a broken window behind it.]

The Bottom Line

Well goddamn. I wasn’t expecting to like this toy nearly as much as I did, but here I am, loving it. I appreciate a toy I can use even in non-impact kink sessions—a true multitasker is always welcome in my house. It hurts in the way that I love, and it’s easy for my spouse to use. This is an all-around win.

Buy from Betty’s Toy Box for $22.99!

[Naughty Betty’s banner]

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