cw: mentions of forced orgasm scenarios
I do not have a lot of experience with wands. A few years ago I had some battery powered mini-wand or another, which was pretty good until it overheated, died, and burned my spouse’s clit as it shuffled off this mortal coil. Many years before that, in my wayward youth, I would occasionally abscond with my mom’s Actual Back Massager for illicit purposes. (Before you say, “you fool, she was probably using that as a sex toy too,” no. I unfortunately know precisely where she stashed her sex toys, and this was not among them. Let us not revisit this discussion again, at any point.) (Also, quick aside to my sister, who reads all my posts: sorry.)
Anyway. Wands haven’t been a major thing for me. Oh, they’re classic, and I recognize their value to many people, but most of what they do didn’t appeal to me. The broader surface area they cover isn’t really my thing. Of course they’re known for providing Tim “The Toolman” Taylor-levels of More Power, but I don’t necessarily want that kind of power—I like the escalation that leads to orgasm as much as I like an orgasm itself.
Counter-intuitively, I also kinda have a thing for forced orgasm. And, of course, the classic forced orgasm toy is a wand. But honestly, kinks aside, I’d been thinking I should expand my horizons a bit and try out a few wands—not because I think there’s a dearth of wand reviews out there (a lot of reviewers prefer wands, and some favor them exclusively) but because I don’t want to limit myself. Knowing what I like is great and extremely important, but sometimes preferences change, and new experiences are good! Especially new experiences that end in orgasms.
The Blush Noje W4 is a miniature wand. It’s rechargeable, with a removable cord. Smaller than most of the traditional, club-like wands, it nonetheless has the classic shape—the handle, the head, the straight lines. It’s a descendant or perhaps cousin of their other Noje mini wands, which have had some really good reviews, although for some reason, it’s not available in the color options of the other Noje toys. It’s available in pink, with lighter pink accents. I actually quite like the color, but I crave the sage green of the other Noje options. It is, however, a bit bigger—almost 8 inches to the Noje W3‘s 5 inches. (That’s still pretty small; see below, where it fits into my US size 7 shoe.)
The rounded head and neck of the Noje W4 are covered in light pink silicone, and it’s very pliable, bending this way and that on the little neck. It bends so much better than expected that I was actually afraid I was going to break it, but nope. It’s fine. Despite the fact that it’s a bit bigger than the tip of my usual preferred vibe, the head isn’t so broad that it’s unpleasant for me, and I find it pretty comfortable to use. I usually hold it so that the very top of the head is in contact with my clit, but if you like a broader stimulation, the side of the head would probably do great for you. I also like that the vibrations don’t carry a lot through the handle—if I hold it at the end I can barely feel them, which is great because my wrist issues have been very cranky this winter and are often aggravated by vibration. (On the downside: I keep forgetting to hold it like that, because of course I do.)
The W4 has a single button to control the two steady speeds and eight (count ‘em, eight) patterns. I really hate one-button controls, but I just have to live with it, because like 90% of vibrators have them and that’s just how life goes on this fallen and sinful earth.
The first steady speed is very low. It makes an okay warm-up, and it wants to be rumbly. It’s thinking about rumbling, like, maybe it’ll try it sometime next week, when it has a little more time. Speed #2 is a HUGE jump in power. It’s quite a bit buzzier, but it’s strong enough to get the job done, and I actually really like it. It’s not the most powerful on Earth—not like your standard Big Wand—but as I established, I prefer the build-up to a WHAM kind of orgasm. Some people do prefer WHAM, and I’m going to say now, this is probably not gonna do it. (Some people prefer Wham!, but I have yet to find a vibrator that plays “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.” Comment below with your favorite 80s song and whether you want it in vibrator mode.) What I really want, in my soul, is a third speed in the middle, something to help ramp up between “gentle murmur of rumbles” and “VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.” But nope. Two speeds, eight patterns. The other Noje wands have FIVE steady speeds, y’all, but apparently not the W4.
Now, let me first say that I actually like some of these patterns. A lot of people hate all patterns, but gosh dang it, some of these are fun for me. In addition to the usual “bzzt bzzt bzzt” steady pulsing patterns, there are some really nice ones that escalate from very low to very high, and then repeat. I love teasing and edging when I masturbate, and these definitely do that—and when I’m finally done tormenting myself, I can wade through the other patterns to a good, fulfilling steady vibration for a good, fulfilling orgasm.
That said…the fact that the patterns escalate so well makes it even more annoying to me that there’s no middle option in the steady speeds. The W4 motor clearly has that capability, but nope. Two speeds! That’s all ya get, sonny! In my day, the Magic Wand had two speeds and we were grateful for those two speeds.
On the plus side, unlike certain other toys that shall remain bullshit, when I use a dildo I can still use the wand, because it still makes contact with my clit. And it’s a PRETTY GOOD COMBINATION. And honestly, all of my orgasms with this toy are good. It’s reliable, certainly, and that’s worth a lot.
For the sake of curiosity, my spouse and I also decided to test how long the battery could last. We charged it fully, then put it on low and tucked it under my spouse’s pillow so the cats didn’t get to it. We then…forgot we’d done that and left the house, and I had to send my extremely patient metamour to check on it once in a while. End result? On the lowest power, this vibe can run an hour and a half, which is pretty good! Of course it’s not going to last nearly as long on the higher setting, but so far we haven’t had any problems. I’ve successfully used it multiple times on a single charge without any noticeable drop in ability.
This also gave my spouse the idea of fashioning a harness, sticking the W4 to my clit, and leaving it on low. I can only stop if I come or if the power winds down, whichever happens first. We haven’t gotten around to it yet…but I’m delighted that the W4 can have a starring role in a fun kink scene. And so, this story ends as it began: with kinky fantasies about wand vibrators.
So, is this the toy for you? Perhaps! At its current price, I’m not sure I’d call it a budget toy, but it’s a lot cheaper than many wand options. With several settings to play with, and a head somewhere between narrow and broad, I think this would be a pretty decent first or second vibrator, or a first foray into wands. If you want something a little smaller and about $10 cheaper, you might want to try some of the other toys in the Noje line, like the W3.
The Bottom Line
Aside from a few little nitpicks, this is a pretty solid vibe. As someone who isn’t much into wands: I like this little wand! I have nice orgasms, it’s cute, and it gives my spouse evil dom ideas. What more can you ask for? If you’ve been looking at it and you’re on the fence about it, I’d say go for it.
Buy from Betty’s Toy Box for $47.99
Great review! I don’t think enough sex toy reviews have WHAM! Song references in them, especially Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.
(Ps I hope this doesn’t post twice, sorry if it does!)
These are just a few of the many services we provide here at Queer Earthling. 😉