Review: Rocks-Off RO-80 7 Function Bullet

[Description: a rose gold bullet vibrator laying on blue lace.]

My household has one major source of income for three people. Now, my metamour has a very good job, but that does render things a little tight sometimes. My spouse does art on commission and I do this blog, which as of this writing has earned me about $7 total. Prior to the blog, I was exclusively a homemaker. Despite having a degree, I have mental issues (both formally diagnosed and self-diagnosed because I have no insurance) that make holding down a traditional job extremely difficult, and after suffering through a few minimum wage mental breakdowns, we decided as a family that the safest thing was to have me work freelance, if at all.

This is one of the reasons I try to review a lot of budget-friendly toys. Expensive or luxury toys are fun, but they aren’t an option for everyone. Disability, minimum wage, debt, gig-based income, having offspring—there are a lot of reasons people have to watch their budget. Pleasure should not be exclusive to people with a lot of money. It’s easy to say, “You get what you pay for, don’t settle for anything less than a $70 vibrator,” but reviews like that are meaningless when you’re living paycheck to paycheck and don’t have $70 to drop. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to pursue sexual pleasure, and you shouldn’t have to settle for items that are unsafe, or simply don’t work.

A few years ago, money was tighter than usual, and we had a really weird, Mercury-in-retrograde series of sex toy disasters that rendered every single one of our vibrators dead. Now, this is one of the issues with buying cheaper toys. They break. But the thing is, at least one of them was a fairly expensive toy we’d gotten before our budget tightened. We were both devastated, in no small part because I can’t orgasm without a vibrator. Manual masturbation was always an inconsistent trick for me, and because of a retail job destroying my wrists, it’s not worth the effort when I may not get the result.

So, when I was done crying, Damien and I decided to scrape together a little bit of money and hit up Spencer’s Gifts. Keep in mind, we live in an area without many sex toy shops anyway, and the ones we do have are a) shitty and b) overpriced. Spencer’s isn’t great, but we knew what materials to avoid, we knew we could maintain our budget, and we wouldn’t have to pay shipping or wait for delivery. A mediocre vibrator was better than no vibrator.

Spencer’s does this really cool trick where they relabel all of their sex toys so it’s harder to find the original brand, but we came home with one we’d looked at online: A Rocks-Off 7 Function bullet in rose gold. It looked slightly fancy, which was nice when we were strapped for cash, and I knew the shape would be good because I like things fairly pinpoint. And since hard ABS plastic is always body-safe (barring paint or anything like that), we knew we weren’t at risk for any major issue. While it retails most places for about $15, I’m pretty sure we bought it on sale for about $10, so if it died unexpectedly, it wouldn’t break the bank.

You guys, this is the only vibrator we had for about a year. And I’m here to tell you: it’s not bad.

[Description: The RO-80 bullet on the edge of a tea saucer, with a floral teacup.]

Since that time, we’ve moved, Damien got health insurance, and we’ve been able to both make choices and gain some luck that meant we have a greater budget for sex toys and other luxuries. (Doing this blog also means I’ve gotten several for free from various places, which certainly helps, but we still buy some sometimes.) But I still occasionally use this thing!

First, let me be quite honest with you: this guy is buzzy. If I use it too much, my clit will get kind of sore, which only happens to me with buzzy toys. A couple days off, though, and it’s fine again.

It’s also not the most powerful toy out there. It has three steady speeds (which go high to medium to low, which I kind of hate) controlled by a single button, as well as the usual patterns. The highest speed is definitely the only one that’ll get me off (and I’m not a power queen!), and if the single N battery is starting to run out, it’ll take a while. But as long as the battery doesn’t die completely, I’ll get there eventually. I have an even easier time if I’m using a decently-sized dildo, because the way my vulva deforms around it makes my clitoral tissues more exposed and more sensitive.

The other time that I can get off with this toy that easily is in the shower. Shower masturbation isn’t generally my favorite game (I’m tired, I wanna lay down) but sometimes you only have fifteen free minutes and you need to wash your hair, so you might as well have an orgasm while you’re letting the conditioner sit. And for some reason, even after I had better vibrators again, the Rocks-Off bullet was my most dependable shower vibe. Maybe it’s because it has a tiny, pointy tip, or maybe it’s because when I masturbate in the shower I like to lean my chest against the wall and pretend I’m being pinned against it by a hot dommy person and the small size worked best for that. Even after I got a better bullet, this one worked better for shower time.

[Description: the Rocks-Off bullet in a teacup, beside a glass pot of tea.]

The other thing I still use this toy for is to insert into the Uberrime Dragon Claw Tango Sleeve. My beloved VeDO Bam is too fat to fit into the sleeve. Blush’s Exposed Nocturnal fits perfectly, but I didn’t like its vibrations on their own, and the sleeve doesn’t improve them. Believe me, I tried. The Rocks-Off fits fine and I don’t hate the vibrations. A win!

So, if you’re on a tight budget, is this the vibrator I would recommend? Well, that’s a hard maybe. It certainly served our purpose, and I’m grateful for that. It didn’t break. It’s pretty and comes in several color options. SheVibe shows a couple of cheaper bullets, but I cannot attest to their longevity, which is important when you’re broke. Spencer’s has a few cheaper bullets as well, often with cute patterns, but I can personally attest that I’ve never had one last longer than a month. (Look, I was seduced by the cute pineapple print. Twice.)

If you can spend a little more money and you want a bullet, I’d strongly recommend a rechargeable like the $34.99 VeDO Bam. You don’t have to spend money on batteries, and the vibrations are stronger, steadier, and rumblier. But if your budget is literally $20 or less, you could definitely do worse, and it makes a great stop-gap if you’re desperate for a vibrator and want to save up for something better. It’s also a decent add-on if you’re buying a bullet sleeve and don’t have anything to put in it yet.

So, there you have it. The Rocks-Off 7 Function Bullet (in rose gold) is decidedly “Okay.” It’s one of the cheapest “Okay” toys you can find.

I bought mine at Spencer’s, but they don’t list this toy on their site anymore. You may be able to find it, or one similar, in store. There are, as always, purchase options below!

[Description: The bullet vibe in a tea saucer, and a teacup full of jewelry.]

The Bottom Line

This toy isn’t perfect, but it’s decent, and for the price, it’s pretty good! It’s lasted me many years, and there aren’t many toys that can claim the same. Sometimes, when you’re struggling, it’s good to have something you can rely on.

Buy from SheVibe for $15.99 (gun metal color only)

Buy from LoveHoney for $19.99

Like Queer Earthling? Check out my affiliates or buy me a coffee!

This post was not sponsored but does contain affiliate links. I bought the product with my own money.


    • Haha from what I’ve seen, I would *not* like the Zumio! I tend to not like “instant orgasm” type vibes–the build-up is just as much part of my enjoyment as the orgasm itself. (Then again, I did like the Lush Juna which I think is meant to be kind of a Zumio dupe.)


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