Update to this post: My partner now uses they/them pronouns.

For years and years, I was not interested in anal play. I was actively grossed out by it for a long time. As I got older, I was no longer disturbed but definitely felt like it was Not For Me, Thank You. I had a perfectly good vagina for penetration. Other people might like butt stuff, but it left me unmoved.

And then, abruptly, I wanted to try it out.

I’m honestly not sure what changed. Maybe it was increased exposure to sex-positive spaces and an awareness of all those nerve endings I wasn’t touching. Maybe it was my partner’s casual endorsement from her perspective. Maybe it had always appealed to me on some level but, as often happens, it was scary, and to my sex-negative mind seemed improper, and so I reflexively proclaimed it ‘gross.’ It does remind me of how in my teens I thought being gay was probably gross (spoiler: really gay) or how in my early 20s I thought BDSM was probably gross (spoiler: really kinky).

In 2016, SheVibe had an active review-for-credit program, where you could review any toy you purchased through them and they’d give you a few dollars’ store credit. This program is, sadly, no longer applicable, but that was my first foray into sex toy reviewing, and I managed to earn a little money on a SheVibe digital gift card. I decided to put that towards my first butt toy, figuring that if I didn’t like it, I wasn’t spending real money on it. It took me a while, but I settled on one.

The Li’l End by Doc Johnson is four and a half inches long and very thin, gently tapered and very smooth, with a giant honkin’ rectangle of a base. This was a detail I was very happy with when ordering, because I’d heard enough horror stories about flimsy bases that I was terrified of losing the Li’l End up my much bigger End. It’s 100% silicone, and therefore will not harbor bacteria or fungus, and is easy to clean and sanitize. The charcoal black has sparkly silver marbling throughout, which I love–it looks kind of cool and industrial, and also, I just love sparkle. I have two sparkly silicone toys but I’d like about 90 more. The silicone is smooth without feeling too slick, and unlike some silicones who shall remain Fun Factory nameless, it doesn’t feel like it’s sucking up lube, though it does pick up a fair amount of lint.

Here’s the thing. The Li’l End is advertised as a butt plug, but it isn’t. For a toy to be a plug, it has to stay put, and for it to stay put, the neck needs to be substantially narrower than the body, and the base needs to fit between butt cheeks when the wearer is moving. The Li’l End is more of a probe or small dildo. But as a small dildo? It’s a pretty good butt toy, at least for me and my dainty asshole.

There’s no texture—I can’t even feel the ridge where the ‘neck’ is supposed to be in use—or seam from the silicone mold, but it’s just thick enough that I can feel it when I thrust with it. It’s also thin enough that I can use a dildo in my vag as well, and it’s just thick enough to make my vagina feel extra tight and sensitive. This is fun…provided I have enough hands available.

I can kind of get it to stay in place if I sit with it in, but it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world. I’m fat, and my butt is large, and the base presses into my cheeks noticeably. I can handle it if, say, I want both hands free for other toys, and you might be able to handle it for partnered sex if that’s your jam. But I’m not going to sit here and recommend ‘rectangle jammed into my gluteal skin’ for a fun new sensation. I have many kinks, but that doesn’t appear to be one. And it’s not going to stay in without sitting on it, or someone holding onto it. If it doesn’t slide out on its own, it’s going to shoot out upon orgasm, because all the muscles in that region clench, and there’s lube.

Still, awkwardness aside, this was one of my favorite anal toys for a long time, and I still use it sometimes, three years after purchasing it. Despite my efforts, I can’t use anal toys much thicker than this—I think my widest plug, from a store no longer selling products, is about an inch and some change, but it’s very still short and smooth, and I still have trouble with it—but the Li’l End continues to be pleasurable for me. And that base that makes it so annoying to sit on is fine to hold onto.

Due to the shape, it could also be used vaginally, although please sanitize it if you’re planning to go butt-to-vag. My vagina finds it super boring, but due to its shape, smoothness, and size, I think it’d be a fantastic option if vaginal penetration is painful or uncomfortable.

If you have a prostate, the straight shape is probably not going to stimulate it a whole lot—usually, they recommend something curved. Even so, it may still be pleasurable, and if you’re an anxious butt newbie, this may still be a good tool to help get yourself comfortable with the concept.

Also, if you’re wondering, the single review for this toy on SheVibe from 2016? Yep, that’s me. The poor thing really deserves more than the two stars I gave it, though.

The Bottom Line

The Li’l End was the first butt toy I ever used, and it was a good choice. If you’re looking for a plug you can leave in, I recommend the Perfect Plug by Tantus–in fact, I recommend it so strongly that I’ll be reviewing it shortly. And if you’re a more advanced anal explorer than I am, this isn’t going to do much for you. But for a simple, very narrow dildo, or for a first foray into butt play, it serves its purpose well, and it’s extremely affordable.

Buy in charcoal from SheVibe for $12.99

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