Star Trek is the one piece of media that’s had the greatest influence on my life, and I have nothing but affection and respect for it. When I began this blog, I knew Star Trek would come up now and again, because it’s played a huge role in my life and, yes, my sexuality.

I’ve seen a few lists of people trying to identify the hottest moments of our favorite space show, but the truth is, they’re all wrong. They’re also all right, of course, because what’s sexy is completely subjective. But to me, they often fall short of the mark. I’m a queer, kinky woman, and my sexuality expresses itself in strange ways. What I find sexy is usually more than just skin, or make-outs. What tends to get me going is suggestiveness—not always traditionally suggestive—and moments that makes my strange little imagination go wandering. Or perhaps you might say…trekking.

So, from the Queer Earthling perspective, this is the definitive and accurate list of the Hottest Star Trek Moments.

#5: TOS Season 1 Episode 4: The Naked Time

Spock in his undershirt

Spock is very proper, his uniform spotless and to exact Starfleet regulations. He’s like that guy who’s always in a buttoned-up suit, shoes buffed, hair perfect. So seeing him in his undershirt for a medical examination was sort of like seeing that archetypal suit guy with his tie undone and his sleeves rolled up. He’s not disheveled, exactly, but it’s a glimpse under the projection of propriety, and that’s attractive. Also, when I watched this on DVD as a teenager in 2005 or so, my mom wandered in, stared at the screen, and said, “Oh,” then stayed for the rest of the episode. So, I mean, at least I come by this honestly.

#4: TNG Season 3 Episode 19: Captain’s Holiday

Picard’s tiny swim shorts

Okay, okay, this one does show a lot of skin. This is important, though, because—like the Spock example above—Picard is buttoned to the eyeballs most of the time, and seeing him let loose is hot as hell. (The reverse is true, too, by the way—a guy who tends to dress casually choosing to put on a well-fitting suit is instantly 300% hotter. This is science.) But most importantly, I love a guy going to a hedonistic pleasure planet who just wants to get some sun and enjoy a book. And hearing him speak politely but sternly when people refuse to leave him alone? Yeah, my subby little brain perks up like a dog hearing a squeaky toy. The fact that he soon goes into sexual tension mode and, much more importantly, archaeologist mode doesn’t hurt, either.

#3: DS9 Season 4 Episode 20: Shattered Mirror

Mirror Garak and Regent Worf

The DS9 mirror universe episodes were pretty kinky in general. Intendent Kira is basically a cartoonish (but still hot) dominatrix, and there was a heavy theme of hierarchy and dominance that’s terrible in a society but really hot to a kinky brain. But this moment, partway through Shattered Mirror, was basically fanfic-levels of kinky. This is literally what happens:

• Worf puts Garak in a dog collar with a chain leash and makes him get on his knees
• Garak offers to please Worf like he used to please Intendent Kira
• Worf informs Garak that he’s not his type
• Garak backpedals like he’s doing a reverse Tour de France
• I have to go lie down for a while

#2: VOY Season 3 Episode 12: Macrocosm

Janeway in a tank top (with a gun)

I didn’t realize I was queer until my mid-twenties, which is ridiculous, because I’ve had it bad for Janeway since my teens. She’s got a commanding presence, she’s a nerd, she’s gorgeous, her hair is amazing regardless of how she styles it, and she could kick my ass. So it’s really no wonder that I just turn into a pathetic mess of gay when she basically Rambos her way around Voyager, with a gun and also showing her guns. She’s tough, she’s fighting even though she’s scared and injured, unstoppably determined, intensely powerful. There are a few other times in Voyager that she wears a similar look, but this is the first one I saw and it gets a place in my heart and on this list.

#1: DSC Season 2 Episode 5: Saints of Imperfection

Georgiou wanders around Discovery, eats an apple

I loved Captain Georgiou, but gods help me, the former Emperor Georgiou sets my queer little heart a-pounding. Season 2 has been especially kind, trying to establish her as not-all-that-evil, probably because she’s getting a spin-off series soon. That’s not important right now. What is important is seeing her walk—no, strut around Discovery after she’s mistakenly taken on board, answering no questions. She’s gorgeous, confident, and impossibly graceful. (I say impossibly, but I also have a bruise on my arm from walking into the kitchen door so I might just mean comparatively.) When she sat down and started eating an apple from a bowl, wholly unconcerned with her fate, I remembered Chris Pine eating an apple in the 2009 Star Trek purely because he thought it would make him look cocky. Well, Georgiou looks cocky, and she also looks like a boss domme, and I think I need to lie down again.

STAR TREK is owned by CBS Inc. I am in no way affiliated.

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